Intoxicating exhilaration of the
azure, golden-light season
had bathed and nourished
each and every cell deep into my soul
so convincingly, I thought (ha!)
the impending dark equinox veil
could evaporate, at MY will
and, THIS year refrain
from penetrating Summer’s shiny bright shield.
Ah yes, there were all the
usual and positive Autumnal clichés…
the quivering leaves were
displaying such richness of hues and
oh, isn’t that a crispy Fall breeze?
A cozy time for walks and talks,
clarity, hugs and gratitude,
fires, smoke and candles,
savoring naps, books and gravy-rich meals.
The ides of September cleverly infected
my deceptive bottomless-buoyancy
with just a nuance of restlessness and nostalgia
now gently evolving into a
general malaise of fatigue and
sinking into an all too familiar
tempo of hibernation, depression and solitude.
Is it futile – this annual S.A.D. gloom-contest:
Melatonin versus Serotonin?
Or just maybe, one day, my Autumnal journey
WILL take me somewhere new?
Using the Theme Thursday October 20th theme of NEW
Notes: Each year I join countless others (especially up here in the North) who experience Seasonal Affectation Disorder (S.A.D.) And each year I head into the season with optimism that THIS year, somehow, it will be different. I have used various methods to keep my Spring/Summertime “sunny” disposition: meditation, medication, exercise, light therapy, prayer.
The darkness of the season ushers in a period where I crave sleep and carbs. At its worst, one can be hardly motivated to just get up and get dressed. This year, I am purchasing a larger, more convenient SAD light (which I will be using without making a conscious effort) and in the spirit of this “theme” of “NEW” I am (ahead of time) scheduling NEW activities into my life (pray that I don’t cancel out in a fit of depression.) I am determined to keep an even keel. My doctor and I have discussed using a certain medication starting just in October and weaning off it towards April. But I’m holding out to find a more natural way to cope (moving VERY South for the Winter might help!)